I’m feeling a little overwhelmed and yet somehow underwhelmed. I feel that there just isn’t enough time for my creativity to blossom and that I spend more time dreaming about drawing or being inspired by others than I actually do creating.
I feel so confined by the 9-5 and yes, I know we all do. I start to think about a creative project I want to achieve and then I remember there are at least 20 that I want to start and somehow the challenge is too huge because each one might take weeks/months in the hours’ time I have here and there slotted around work, and life commitments. Sometimes it’s honestly less hassle to do the washing up instead of a creative project because at least that is something that I can complete in a small timeframe. Yes I know that I am thinking too huge and over thinking/ overreacting but seriously I need hours for creativity to let it bloom. For one thought to follow another and to get excited and then go on a tangent and to just create something with pure love and joy.
I was reminded of this when talking to a colleague the other day who had been inspired by an illustrator of an awesome children’s book. I could hear the passion in his voice and see the fire in his eyes. “I felt inspired, like at University”. Remember when you could do a project on an artist and then research them and create something inspired by their work? Do you know even during the pressure of A-levels, Foundation and Uni it was a magical time in which there was TIME to create and to fall in love with your subject, a colour, a theme, or a method.
That time alludes me now and I miss it so, so very much. Even when I do actually get a day to myself it’s too much time. I rarely get that time and it’s daunting so I’m not sure where to begin. Which project should I half complete? The rational thing to do would be to cut everything down into bitesize chunks. The time-management heroes and the everyday psychologists would love that! Because yes sometimes that works and works very well but it’s hard, it takes effort and consideration and means I have to be everything that I’m not. Where is the fun, the passion and the spontaneity in this. I don’t want to be organised and to follow a process, that’s what I do in my day job. I want to be an artist again and be consumed by it all and nothing else will matter. The last time I felt like this I painted a huge free-hand pattern on the living room wall whilst my husband was out! Fortunately he thought it was cool. Watch this space . . .
PS this doesn’t just apply to creatives but to anyone that has a passion/hobby that they’re neglecting.
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